Life Coach: 5 Top Tips From Happy Fulfilled Couples

In my opinion, love is a ‘state of being’ that can make you feel every emotion to ever exist. From the lens of a life coach,  love and to give love is one of our most powerful abilities. It is a wonderful and beautiful blessing to be able to experience such a thing. (Also Read: Save Your Relationship: Insecurity Talk)

However, I have noticed that in modern society, especially in Western culture, there has been a kind of stigma surrounding love. It is almost like a trend in the dating world to ‘play it cool‘, where the ‘coldest‘ in the relationship ultimately ‘wins’. Some may frown when you tell your partner that you miss them, and others will gasp when you text the person you like first.
What is even sadder is that people are becoming increasingly afraid to ever want to experience love on a deeper level. They refuse to ever get emotionally intimate, not even the slightest. One does not dare to give their trust, as social media engraves the thought of infidelity on every man and woman, diminishing the hope of being in a happy, fulfilling, and trusting relationship in modern day romance.
That is why I looked to find couples who are long-term (at least 5+ years) and in a healthy and fulfilling relationship or marriage with their partner. I asked them to each give me their ‘top tip’ on how they kept their relationship flame burning. These people are living proof that marriage and relationships can really be an amazing experience.

“One top tip? Well I guess it all comes down to communication with us. My husband and I have been together for 27 years and married for 24 of them. Sure there are times where we wanted to rip each other’s heads off but that is why communication is so important! We should never assume what our partner is thinking, we need to ask! Otherwise, we make up this unhealthy story in our heads and we start to resent them. We think things like “he no longer loves me” or “she doesn’t respect me”, when all of that is rubbish! Talk to each other, it’s saved us from ever drifting apart.” – CK, 53 years old

“This isn’t really a tip and it sounds cheesy, but I believe that you’ll just know. From the first time I ever laid eyes on my wife I knew in an instant “ah yes, she is the woman I want to be with”. It was that feeling that I hadn’t felt with any other woman. I may have had previous loves, but with her there was something deep inside, yelling at me that I had to go get her! I didn’t even know if we would get married at the time, but I always had that voice inside of me telling me “she is the one”, and I made sure that I did everything to keep her. Funny how that works huh? We’ve been married for 9 years now.” – DM, 35 years old

“Well my wife and I have been together for 19 years, and married for 17. Oh man was she hard to get! She had to move away to Oxford for a year to study, and if I said it wasn’t hard then I’d be lying through my teeth! I just missed her A LOT, and every woman I saw reminded me of how special she was to me. It comes to show there is more to a relationship than just physical intimacy, although that is, of course, important too. I never lost trust or respect for her, and she never lost trust or respect for me. that is my relationship tip. Once you lose trust and respect, there isn’t much left. If you can’t trust your partner, you’re going to slowly lose respect and resent them. If you have no reason to distrust them, then why jeopardise that loving relationship? And if you still can’t trust them, then you aren’t right for one another – find someone you can trust.” – JO, 43 years old 

“I am going to be honest here. Physical intimacy! Now I don’t mean you have to have sex all the time, but if you were physical at the start and then suddenly refuse to be intimate because “he should love you more than he loves sex”? Nope! That is not cool! You see, my boyfriend and I both place a lot of importance on physical intimacy, but we knew that at the start of our relationship! He fell for you because of who you were at the start of the relationship. You see, at the start of a relationship when you start becoming intimate, you set an impression of how your relationship will be for the rest of your relationship. Yes, I know some of you will say “but people change” and “well he should love me more than just the physical things!”. Well then! Imagine if your partner started not wanting to hold hands midway of your relationship, or started to expect you to pay for everything. And then they say to you “well surely you should love me more than PDA and money”. Exactly. It doesn’t work that way. Your partner will start to feel rejected and unwanted with your purposeful withdrawal of physical intimacy. You got into the relationship, so meet them halfway.” – LN, 28 years old

“For me, it’s always be appreciative of the other person, regardless of how many years you’ve been together, or whether you’re married or not. Now I’m talking both to you young ladies and gentlemen out there in a committed relationship. Never for one second think that they are yours forever and start to take them for granted. Because dear, as soon as you do, watch how fast they leave. When they start to see you stop putting in the effort you previously did, they will start to evaluate. The longer you stop showing that you appreciate and love them, the more they inch closer to that door. Surprise them, love them, tell them you support them and that you believe in them. And if you’re doing this and they aren’t doing the same back? Then they probably aren’t the one. Love is not give and take, it is a give and give, and you will never run out of give because they are giving the same back. Love happily and love freely, that is the way it should be in my opinion.” – HA, 59 years old